@proelium

[warhistory]

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[allyourfeels]

Sure, if you wanna hear it. I guess if I get all weepy my chips won't judge me.

[warhistory]

I wouldn't judge you either.

It's okay to be sad.

[allyourfeels]

Yeah, I know. But it's kind of a slippery slope, you know? I let myself be sad about Adam, then I'm sad about my friends and my family, and then I'm sad about being stuck in this place.

And then I forget how cool it is that I'm meeting people from other worlds because I'm just sad about the one I'm not in.

[warhistory]

You can feel both excited to meet others from new places, and sad about the things that you have lost.

But I do understand. Negative emotions can feel significantly stronger than positive ones, in the moment.

[allyourfeels]

It's like mixing colors. Negative feelings kinda overwhelm the good ones, so if you have like, pink and purple, then you still get a nice color. But if you add gray or black you just end up with a shitty brown mush.

Anyway, Adam's awesome. He's smart and funny and he can give a whole ass class on pretty much any subject.

[warhistory]

You said you were an empath, correct? Therefore your need for someone more emotionally balanced?

[allyourfeels]

Yeah, for the sex stuff.

But Adam's not. I mean, he's my age, he has normal high school guy feelings. But his feelings just kinda fit with mine? Most people overwhelm me, so I don't know what's me and what's them. With Adam I know, like matching puzzle pieces.

[warhistory]

You are compatible in a way that doesn't create difficulties with your extraordinary ability.

I was referring to your comparison on emotions. The colors. I appreciate your description of it.

Adam sounds wonderful.

[allyourfeels]

He is.

My therapist taught me visualization exercises and kinda guided me through finding stuff that's close enough? It's not perfect cause it's a whole other sense. But like, curiosity is prickly and concern is warm and relief feels like ocean waves.

And once I have words for it and colors and sensations, it's easier to identify that specific thing.

[warhistory]

I'm glad they were able to help teach you tools that you found useful.

When did you meet Adam? Does he know about your ability?

[allyourfeels]

I met Adam at school, we're in a bunch of classes together, and his feelings were super loud and distracting. When I told my therapist she said I should try talking to him, so I did and we hit it off.

I didn't tell him about my thing for the longest fucking time, and when I did it was a whole fucking mess. He was embarrassed and I was embarrassed and we got into a yelling match. But then we actually talked and cleared it up and started dating.

[warhistory]

Louder than others, but still distinctively
separate from yours?

[allyourfeels]

YEAH, yeah, that's it exactly! I don't always know where a feeling is coming from, but I always know what stuff is his.

I mean, I can kinda tell when I'm familiar with people, like my family all has their own colors. But Adam's are clearer and I could tell before I actually knew him.

[warhistory]

Is there a particular reason for it?

[allyourfeels]

Not as far as I know. I've met people here who feel kinda like that a bit, but it's not the same.

[warhistory]

Perhaps it was meant to be.

[allyourfeels]

That's a nice thought.

I don't know though. If fate were a thing I wouldn't be here, or at least not without him.

[warhistory]

Fate is a heavy concept.
Natural compatibility may be closer to the truth, especially if you are experiencing that same strength in others here.

[allyourfeels]

That sounds right. Like, idk, a voice you find pleasant or something. You don't have to fall for whoever has it but it's still nice to hear.

[warhistory]

The same way some individuals prefer certain traits over others.

[allyourfeels]

Yeah, yeah. I haven't asked the one other empath I know back home if Adam feels easy to him too.

I should, actually. If I ever get to go home.

[warhistory]

Something to work on later, then.

What do you want to do now?

[allyourfeels]

honestly, just trying to keep myself sane by meeting cool people.

I need a job, but I don't WANT a job.

[warhistory]

Is there anything in particular you want to do?Career-wise?

[allyourfeels]

I was thinking about social work or like, psychology? Something where I can use my thing to help.

But I don't wanna work for the city at all if I can help it, and also I have no marketable job skills, so I'll probably end up like, as a bouncer or a waiter. An entry-level thing that requires no specialized skills.